Identity crisis: Am I a teacher or a student?

I feel like I've had to spend the last three weeks switching from teacher mode to student mode. I know they tell us over and over to see this year "not as our final year as a student, but as our first year as a professional." Regardless, being back at Queens after placement, I feel like a student again. 

Practicum was excellent, and I learned so much. I also feel like I was busy. ALWAYS. I realized by about the 5th week, that teaching is something that you can always put more and more into, and you can tweak your lesson plans a million times, and think of so many different activities you want to do. I found myself going to sleep thinking solely about teaching, and if there were any improvements I needed to make. "What if I changed this part of my lesson? Will the students be engaged? Maybe I should try a different activity? Does my associate teacher think I'm doing a good job? Are my students learning enough? How can I make this math more fun?" I'm okay with it, because I love teaching and being up there helping students learn is such a good feeling. However, I realized that it also has the potential to consume your life in some respects. I noticed when I was on placement that there were several teachers who seemed to be experiencing what I've heard referred to as 'burnout'. In other words, they would just seem less happy everyday than they had at the beginning. Some were even taking time off for stress leave. 

It's important as a teacher to be passionate about your work! In fact in any job. Why do something for the rest of your life if you don't love it. Therefore, putting a lot of time into teaching is not something that I see as negative. It's good to want to be the best teacher that you can be! However, you have to know when enough is enough. You definitely have to take time for yourself, and make times for other things that you love. 

Being back at Queens has really exemplified how much less free time I had when I was at placement. I feel like I have way more time to do some things I was missing in placement. Having time to go to the gym, and knit things without feeling like I should be lesson planning or marking instead is a beautiful feeling. There seems to be less pressure when there is only one person relying on you for assignments to be handed in, as opposed to 30 students relying on you to teach a good lesson. However, I'm also finding that I'm struggling to see the purpose in a lot of the tasks I'm assigned in some of my classes now. Some are useful of course. However, I feel like I go through most of my classes and just hear essentially a repeat of what I heard in a lecture previously. I find it difficult to motivate myself to do assignments when I don't feel that they are worthwhile. Everything in practicum had a purpose, and I could see how it would help me grow as a teacher. I don't always feel that way about my classes. Oh well, some things in life can't be avoided!

So regardless of what my profs preach to me...I'm back in student mode. Writing papers, doing assignments, and attending classes.The one thing I find that differs from my undergrad is that always have my future in the back of my mind. There's a constant lingering questions that I think have come up now that I have time to think about them and am not swamped with lesson planning! Will I ever get a job? Is traditional teaching what I want to do? Where do I want to teach? I have so many questions it's overwhelming. It's almost frightening that there are only a few more months until I can stars pursing my career as an actual teacher! Adulthood here I come...

The Real Deal (AKA Practicum)

After weeks of roaming the halls of McArthur and learning about education and teaching techniques and practices, we were unleashed out into high schools to practice our teaching skills, and experience first-hand what it's like to be a teacher.

My first day at Frontenac was a welcoming one, with all the teachers in the math department greeting me and making me feel right at home. After a day of observing some classes, getting to know my way around, and learning some of the school policies, my associate teacher asked me if I wanted to teach a lesson tomorrow. My initial reaction was "whoa, I've only been here a day lady!" But of course I said yes. Why wouldn't I take every opportunity to learn and better myself as a teacher? That's what I'm here for right? I was provided with a ton of resources, and she gave me a good idea of what was the plan for the lesson the next day, so everything went well. The class I started out teaching is a grade 9 applied class. It became very apparent the first few days that these kids really struggle with math. But here's the catch- there are only 9 students in it. Sounds like a dream right? Well in some respects, it's definitely got its perks. With such few students, classroom management isn't a huge issue, and there is lots of time for individual one-on-one attention. Learning the students names was a walk in the park, and I've got to know each of them as individuals very well in the last 5 weeks. But sometimes I find that this number of students is too small. There are technically 9 in the class, but the number who regularly show up is around 7. It's quite funny with the 30 desks in the classroom, because I let them sit where they want. They all come in everyday and disperse themselves throughout the classroom. But one day they came in and all sat in the very back row by the windows.

I took on another class shortly after, and I was astounded at the difference between teaching the 2 classes. My second class was a grade 10 enriched academic one, with 30 students in it. Now, these kids are all pretty strong at math, and very into school. They are also very chatty, so it definitely gave me an opportunity to work on my classroom management skills. I'm so glad that I got to experience both of these classes. They both posed different challenges. The enriched students were full of questions, and wanted to know so much more than I ever had planned in a lesson. They really pushed me to explain the reasoning behind every math concept, and why they would use it in real life. It was a great learning experience! I also really worked on letting them figure things out for themselves in this class, instead of just telling them how to do things. My associate teacher encouraged this, and I think I got a lot better at asking the right questions to get them thinking about concepts and coming with ideas of how to do problems without me telling them.

The grade 9s were the opposite end of the spectrum. Keeping them engaged was one of the biggest challenges. Sometimes when I noticed they were being chatty during the lesson, I would tell them they could have 3 minutes to do whatever they wanted, and then we would come back to talking about math. If they were quiet during the lesson after that this was something we continue. I found it very effective, and when I had them write me comments on my last day, a couple of the told me that the appreciated our breaks.

I could continue to write about the last 6 weeks forever, but for now I'll say that overall, I'm extremely satisfied with how this placement went. I feel confident in front of a classroom, and I feel like I really grew as a teacher and a person.

Being educated to be an educator

Teachers. I’ve spent the last 19 or so years of my life surrounded by them. We’ve seen them all: good teachers, alright teachers, and then those exceptional teachers that really have an impact on you. And now I’m in teachers college, on the road to hopefully becoming one of them. The first few weeks of teacher’s college so far have been a bit of a blur. I feel like a sponge, trying to soak up all the knowledge that is, for lack of a better work, being dumped on me. Pedagogy, classroom management, professional practice, curriculum...it can be a little overwhelming at times. I know these things are all important, and that if I’m being taught them there’s reason behind it. I already feel way more knowledgeable about the theory behind teaching, and have ideas of how to theoretically be a good teacher. But that’s just it...this is all in theory. I can study, and read, and learn all about good teaching practices. But until I actually apply this and have some real life experience, I don’t think I can really call myself a teacher.

That’s why I found that teaching part of a lesson that we planned to our peers was probably the most helpful thing that I’ve done in teacher’s college this far. There were nerves at first. What if I made a mistake? My audience was all knowledgeable in physics; I didn’t want to embarrass myself. But after watching a few of my peers’ lesson plans, it was evident that everyone was in the same boat, and that there was nothing to be nervous about. Everyone makes mistakes. It’s been a few years since I’ve been out on practicum in a classroom, so teaching a lesson today was great. I think it made me feel more confident for when I am actually in the classroom, and it was great to get feedback from my classmates. Moreover, now I have 15 potential lesson plans for when I have a physics class of my own, since I’ve seen all these great lessons presented. I love the creativity that was involved in them, and there were some really good demonstrations and POEs. I could definitely see myself using some of these activities in my future.

Overall, it’s been a solid start to the semester, and I look forward to what the rest of the year has to offer as I continue on with my education to be a teacher.